Jokes Counter
A Sardarji was doing an experiment with a cockroach, first he cut it’s one leg and said “WALK”.
The unfortunate Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it’s second leg and told the same.
The Cockroach walked again.
Then he cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it’s fourth leg and ordered it to walk!
But cockroach didn’t walk.
The sardarji ran out of his house yelling, “Eureka, Eureka, I found it. If we cut a cockroach’s four legs, it becomes deaf”.
Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.
She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.
Interviewer: Congrats, you are selected.
Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.
Next month salary will be 10000.
Sardar: Ok sir, I’ll Join next month.
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: Take my card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card.
Sardar: So what?
You have written outside
“ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”
Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together.
They found 1000 Rs. on the way.
Pathan: Let’s take 50/50.
Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?
Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said “India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air
Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA
Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE”.
A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?
Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..
In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.
While in a drug store
Sardar :I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Sardar : Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!
Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good??
Sardar : Bad
Interviewer: Come
Sardar : GO
Interviewer: Ugly
Sardar : Pichlli
Interviewer: Ugly
Sardar : Pichlli
Interviewer: Shut up
Sardar : Keep Talking
Interviewer: Get out
Sardar : Come in
Interviewer: Oh my God
Sardar : Oh my Devil
Interviewer: U r rejected
Sardar : I m Selected..
Balle Balle!!!!
Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying….
When a person asked what he was doing….
He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!
How can a Sardar kill a lion ?
Sardarji thinks and thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I’ll drink poison and let lion eat me
When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms….
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.
Sardar at an art gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer : I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more…
Can you lend me 2000 Rs? I need it.
Please help me out, I know you have it,
I will return it .
A Sardar asks to ATM machine.
How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
Sardar wanted to make a std. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.
So the two Sardars exchanged their sandwiches.
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They’re there for those who don’t drink.
Santa: Why are you standing in the hot sun?
Banta: I am drying my sweat.
Santa: I will never ever get married and I will also give the same advice to my children
pelli kuda svaardhame manam premimpa badadam kosa-avatali vaarini premistunnamani cheppadam aatmavanchana......
Enjoy the day
Oct-2 for Gandhi,
Nov-14 for Neharu,
Apr-24 for Sachin,
Aug-15 for India,
Apr-01 only for YOU. So Enjoy the day !!!
If a baby is born
in AFRICA,
what will
be the colour of the
babies teeth?
?
?
.
.
.
.
you fool.!
a new born baby don’t have teeth…
Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.
Its on 1st of April. Surprised?
Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled…
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Wannna Propose a girl…….. Try this!!!!
Follow strictly the below mentioned steps and success is guaranteed:
Choose the girl you want to propose on the D-day.
Pick a rose
Spot the girl
Stand in front of her
Give her the rose
Hug her tightlllyyyyy
If she doesn’t resist. Battle won, the girl is yours!!
If she resists and stare at you angrily, immediately leave her and start clapping and shouting
‘Didi Darr Gayi, Didi Darr Gayi!!!’
And Say April Fool………..
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Fact1: You can not touch
your lower lip with your tounge…
Fact2: After reading this,
99/100 idiots would try it.
The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars…
So, if u dont mind……
Can I sell you?
If u save this msg, it means I’m cute. If u edit this, I’m still cute. If u fwd this, u r spreading that i’m cute & if u erase this, u r jealous of me coz i’m cute!
Clouds r white but the sky is blue, monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry u’ll find me there too, not in the cage but laughing at u.
So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see …….how Sweetly I LIE.
Happy April Fool Day!
If today any 1 talks & praises u 4 ur
1) gud looks
2 ) nature
3 ) style
4 ) attitude,
kick them off.How dare they fool u before april 1st.
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A Day Will Come Wen D Whole World Will Celebrate
Ur Name,
Ur Fame,
Ur Thoughts,
Ur Ideas,
But U Hav 2 Wait For Two days
Till Ur Birthday ; April 1
I want U to know that U are very important to me,
It’s impossible for me to live without U even 4 a second! U r my life & I can feel U everywhere….
DON’T MIND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN…
SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO …
You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
Plz go to creat message
Then open T9 ON DICTANARY OPTION
Then type this number & see the magic
277451366514612382623
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Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
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Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
Dreaming of YOU makes my night worthwhile.
Thinking of YOU makes me Smile.
Having YOU is the best thing ever
and Loving YOU is what I plan to do FOREVER
If I could be any part of you,
I’d be your tear.
To be conceived in your heart,
born in your eyes, live on your cheeks,
and die on your lips.
Flowers will die, sun will set.. But u r my love that i wont forget..
Ur name is so precious,it will never grow old.. Its engraved in my HEART wit letters of Gold!
The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart,
the second time you made little flames
and now you make my heart burn like hell !
I cant help it, its not by choice,
my heart beats faster, my knees get weak,
my stomach hurts & I can hardly breathe and each & every moment feels brand new,
I just cant help it I am crazy for U!
The spirit of Easter is all about Hope, Love and Joy full living. Happy Easter!
Let this joy of Easter may fill up your heart today and the whole year ahead. Happy Easter!
The Lord came to earth with a life to give, so each one of us may continue to live. Happy Easter!
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews. 13:8. His life still gives us hope, May you live in his unchanging love. May Jesus who was born in a manger be born again in your Heart. Good Friday!
The Lord lights up our way into eternal bliss. Good Friday!
May the Almighty God Bless You on Good Friday!
Do not be afraid to shine.
The world needs what you have to give.
Open up the areas of your being;
Expose them to yourself – to others.
You are valuable. You are unique.
You have much to give.
Do not be afraid to give it.
As we risk ourselves, we grow.
Each new experience is a risk.
We can try, and maybe fail,
And, as a result, grow or hold back and stagnate.
You have the potential to be anything you want.
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over.
Fly with the eagles. Soar into life.
The world is waiting for you.
[1] Sweeter Sides of Life
Boy Friend is like a chocolate, “Taste good always.”
Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot’ n’Spicy, “Delicious anytime.”
Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, “Eaten when no choice.”
Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, “Headache on sip.”
[2] Better Dead than Alive
A bachelor Man asked his physician, “I Want to live healthy and longer.”
The Doctor advised, “Good thought, Get married.”
The man asked, “Oh you mean the exercise of sex will make me live longer.”
The Doctor said, “No it is the want of sex that will kill your thought.”
[3] An Alien Observation
“A great handshake was observed in two humans of opposite sex at a wedding ring before a deadly bout of Lifetime.”
[4] Respect to a Dead Union
A husband reminded the wife, “Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minute’s in silence.”
[5] Love Kills
Marry with Love or have someone arrange it for you and then love. What the hell is the difference? Ultimate is the same, “Suicide of Harakiri or Killing of Guillotine.”
[6] Strange Divinity
And God makes such a beautiful, lovely, pleasant, marvelous creature as woman for man, then suddenly he turns around and sticks him as wife.
[7] Senseless and Careless
A man before marriage stays awake happily whole night contemplating about the wordage of lover woman.
Then after marriage he starts snoring faster then loving wife utters the first word.
[8] Wise Saying
Your money gets transferred faster than lightning When you marry.
[9] For unmarried only
“Happy Independence Day.”
[10] Grass is greener on other side
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order the best dish of your choice from the menu and yet damn you find your friend’s dish more alluring.
[11] Decent Burial
A just recently divorced, hit hard, badly publicized, rich man received a telegram.
“Your Ex-wife dead. Advise preference burial or cremation? Funeral cost you pay.”
The man quickly responded, “Burn the Body high flames and Bury the Ash deep grounds. I pay all the expenses.”
[12] Wild Fiction
A just engaged man goes in the Library to search books on “The sex and my woman.”
He asked the female librarian, “Ma’ am, I want the book something like, “Master of my woman.”
The librarian advised, “Our fiction and fantasy books are in the basement.”
[13] Promise Keeper
Once a man told then his lover, “Marry me, I would even go to hell for you.”
The girl trusted the promise and married him.
The Man kept his words, “He is going through the hell of his life for now his wife.”
[14] Never drying tears
A woman brings you in this world with you crying and other one keeps you alive in this world with you crying.
[15] Law of Double Jeopardy
The Law does not permit a man to marry a second woman.
The Law cannot punish a man twice for the same offense!
You are not responsible
for what people think about you…..,
but, you are responsible
for what you give them to think about you…..!!
Absence must be long enough
that somebody missses you..
But it should not be so long that
somebody learns to live without you..
`
Koi aankhon se baat kar leta hai.
Koi aankhon aankhon mein mulaquaat kar leta hai..
Mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi Khaamosh rehkar bhi Sawaal kar leta hai…!!
`
Dil ki hasrat zubaan par aane lagi.
Aap ko dekh zindagi muskurane lagi..
Woh therri mohabbat thi ya meri deewangi…
jo har surat mein terri nazar aane lagi…!!
`
Labo ki hasi terre naam kardenge..
Har khushi tujhpar kurbaan kardenge…
Jis din hogi kami mere dosti mein….
us din zindagi ko maut ke naam kardenge…!!
Marriage is that relation between
man and women in which
the Independence is Equal,
the Dependence mutual and
the Obligation Reciprocal”.
Best wishes for Happy Wedding Anniversary.
The pain is not on the day of missing ur dear ones..
The pain is really wen v live each day witout them & with their presence in our mind.
`
A small superb quote,” I nothing lasts 4ever…
Can i b ur nothing ?”
`
If u hav reasons 4 liking sum1. Then u r using ur mind. But if u lyk sum1 4 no reason. Then u r using ur heart.
`
Inbox is emptyOutbox is emptyDraft is emptybut..
U & UR memories r overloaded in my HEART BOX.
`
I’ve a pair of eyes but can’t see u everyday !I’ve a pair of ear but cant hear ur voice everyday !But i’ve only one heart tat remembers u every second..
`
Care & affection is not a business wher u give wen u get..
It is a beautiful feeling 4 sum1 wher u luv 2 giv even if u don’t get..
`
Troublin and torturin r gift frm d luvd 1.
We think abt d trouble dey giv.But v don know tat v r goin 2 miss dem in d furture.
`
D MOST CRITICAL MOMENT IN LIFE:Wen sum1 vry spcl hurts u so deeply, causes tears in ur eyes n ask,” Wat happend ?” bt u just reply ,” Nothing ”
`
world’s most beautiful sentence:”..But, I like u “World’s most painful sentence:” I like u, but..”Words r same, but where they r placed matters a lot.
`
Don’t fall in luv wit sum1 u can liv with..fall in luv wit sum1 u can’t
liv witout..
`
i have ...'L'
i have ...'O'
i have ...'V'
i have ...'E'
Can you send me ..."you"
Feel good when somebody Miss u.
Feel better when somebody Loves u.
But feel best when somebody
never forgets u.
What's missing in H_RT? EA or U?
Pick EA u'll get HEART!
if u pick U, u'll get HURT!
I'd pick U coz its better to get
hurt than having a heart without U
Curved high on a mountain
covered in dew...
I saw these 3 words...
I LOVE YOU!
Immature love says:
"I love you because I need you"
Mature love says:
"I need you because I love you”
If I was a tear I would
want to be born in your
eye, live on your cheek
and die on your lips.
The word HELLO means:
H=How are you?
E=Evrything alright?
L=Like 2 hear from you!
L=Love 2 see you soon
O=Obviously I miss you....
SO, HELLO
When God opened the
door of heaven,
He saw me & asked what
is ur wish 4 2day I said
lord plz take care of
the1 reading this message.
I have special sleeping
arrangements 4u,
A pillow of CARE,
bedsheet of UNDERSTANDING,
blanket of PEACE and dream
of LOVE... GOOD NIGHT
Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1's receive
MESSAGES From ME!
Love me but, leave me not,
Kiss me but, miss me not,
Hit me but, hate me not,
Remember me but, 4get me not.